I Love In Your Shadow
by Eternal Love Song
Summary: She would always hold onto to the hope, wait for the moment, stand by his side, until he finally noticed that she was there and always had been.


Loki said something to her once, about Thor. Something that she has held onto ever since. "Eventually, he'll realize what he has."

They were young then, and she didn't know whether he'd meant her or him. Whether he was hoping that Thor would look behind him and suddenly realize that Loki was there, or if he was offering her hope that Thor would suddenly understand that she was waiting for him all this time. In a way, it didn't really matter. She held onto it all the same.

She would always hold onto to the hope, wait for the moment, stand by his side, until he finally noticed that she was there and always had been.

* * *

In the face of Thor's light, all else was shadow and she was used to having company in this domain. From the very beginning Thor was the type to leave others behind. He was quick to rile, quick to adventure, and the only one he'd ever pause to remember was his brother. Yet from the beginning, Loki was always a step behind Thor. Ever the moon that was eclipsed by the sun, ever the shadow as Thor stood blocking the light.

Loki welcomed her into his his space and she was not alone. He craved the sun, clung to the shadows, and dreamed. With her, he dreamed.

"It will not always be this way," Loki told her once. "One day, he'll look behind him and notice what's been there all along."

She knew not if he meant herself or him, but she clung to it all the same. One day, he was going to see her. One day, he would know her. One day, he would want her.

* * *

The day Sif took up the sword was the worst day of Amora's life. Suddenly, there was another woman so easily in his space, in his world, on his mind. Suddenly, there was another shadow circling the light. Clever Sif, wearing a man's skin to bring attention to her own. Making of herself what was not to be made. Sif was a matched pair with Loki, had she not rejected the entire idea of him.

Amora threw herself into her studies even more. She needed to compete, to be competition. She needed to be a better mage, more powerful than any other, except perhaps Loki. She needed to be a better woman, more beautiful and more charming than ever before. She had to be beautiful. She had to be beautiful, to walk beautiful, talk in a way that was beautiful. She needed to be everything Sif was not: clever, soft, seductive, feminine. But that had never helped with him before, had it?

In the end, she asked for Loki's help. She needed to stand out. She needed to be what Sif was not. She thought that perhaps she would need to change herself to do so...

Instead, Loki made Sif into what Amora was not. He replaced her gold with coal, dipping her in darkness as he was himself.

And it worked! He saw her, wanted her, had her! For a few precious, golden encounters, it had worked.

Then she lost his attention again to adventures, to his arrogance, to Sif and her unofficial inclusion with the Warriors Three. It was a back and forth between her and Sif, when it wasn't Loki that had occupation of Thor's mind.

She was confident, though, that he would wake up to the truth. He would see her love and devotion and passion, he would see her loyalty, and he would love her in return.

* * *

Then there was the mortal and jealousy got the best of her. She tried to eliminate the mortal, failed, and in the process lost favor.

It wasn't fair, but she could wait. Mortals die, after all.

She watched the woman age, wrinkle, sicked, die. She watched his heart break, she watched his disillusion, and when he came to her for comfort, she offered up her body in service to him.

Yet even then, she was still waiting. Waiting for him to see her, to love her. Waiting for him to open his eyes.

"You get used to the shadows eventually," Loki said to her one day. She didn't know whether that was a confession of his own submission to the shadows or a plea for her to find peace.

She still waited though.

Once, she'd had only one competition for Thor. She waited as he attended to Midgaard, as he ascended and tended the throne, as he wed and bed Sif. He always came back to her. He returned to her bed and body, to her arms, to her. And every time he saw her a little more.

He saw her when he finally ceased to play his games on Midgard.

He saw her when Loki and Sif's affair came to light.

He saw her when the Warrior's Three fell in battle.

He saw her...

One day, he would open his eyes.


End file.
